forget your name. forget your fear.

Sometimes I wonder if the world's so small, that we can never get away from the sprawl. And there's no end in sight, I need the darkness someone please cut the lights. ( Read more... )

I love it when my guests bring food.

Okay, one of the pies had a piece taken out of it, but as far as gifts go I've had worst. And had better.

Clearly the Ministry should just start to bribe the dragon with pie. Problem solved.

It's true: glittery really does get everywhere. Still don't regret a thing though.

As for the dragon, clearly he was a little overexcited and celebrated my birthday a day early. That's really all that I can think of. There, there, little guy. I appreciate it anyways. It's the thought that counts, etc. etc.

Or something.

I was going to dress up as a hag for Halloween, but now I think it might be too soon. Is it? Likely. I can't tell.

Instead I'll just roll in a pot of glitter and call it an afternoon.

[WARDED TO MCKINNONS + JOEY + ELLIE]

Robbie's all right. A bit banged up, but that's what another mad disappearing act while he's on a bender does to a person. I've got him here, I'm observing his progress. He'll be good in a few days.

Just thought I'd let you all know since he likely forgot to tell you.

[WARDED TO THE ORDER]

Quite the lovely and informative broadcast there, gents. I'm quite proud of all of you. I think we might be making a real impact.

I smell trouble brewing.

Though it might not be incendiary journal entries at all. It could be the civil war brewing in my bathroom. Actually I think it really is that. Should probably go have a look.

No one can understand how much I love that this month makes eating pumpkin everything socially acceptable. I'll be totally off it (and squash in general) come November, but for now everyone ought to bring it on.

Yum.

What sort of tosser tarnishes balloons like that? I'd worry about them, but I try not to worry about the dickish behaviour of bad guys.

Instead I'm opting to finish out this note in quotes. So have one.

Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

[WARDED PRIVATE]

It's been over a month. I miss him. I miss them. I think I always will. And now I don't even have the whole "everyone is rotting to death" thing to distract me.

God, that sounded awful. Even if it was true.

CONGRATS ON NO LONGER SLOWLY ROTTING AWAY EVERYONE.

That's got to be a relief. Even if slowly growing everything back would be utter bollocks.

[WARDED PRIVATE]

I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Feel stupid saying that, given that a lot of people I care about are properly dying ill, but yeah.

[WARDED TO FENELLA MCKINNON]

I need to talk to you. I don't know who else to turn to.

I thought about learning to make a proper casserole. Then I remembered that Molly makes better ones as does Neil. Clearly I need to find a niche supper food and go for it. Suggestions?

[WARDED TO AUROR OFFICE]

I received a letter earlier today that I think would be of an interest to you lot. I can't be certain, but I'd bet anything that it was from whomever it was that killed the Prewetts. It's written like it was from Fabian and was done by a dictaquill.

I'll it along to you later. Just thought I'd tell you before it showed up in your office.

[WARDED PRIVATE]

I have to break this habit of trying to ward either of them. I forget sometimes and then it just turns into an inky mess.

But Fabian would make have made a spectacular K-9.

[WARDED TO STURGIS]

What do you reckon it is that makes a screwdriver sonic?

And should we be drinking screwdrivers while we figure this out?

[WARDED TO ALICE]

Thanks for having me over the other night. I really appreciated it.

I am going to need a cartload of yarn. I also need someone who is willing to teach me how to knit. Or better yet, who is willing to knit for me.

Any takers?

[WARDED PRIVATE]

Everyone. Fuck off.

I don't care.

My husband is dead. One of my best friends is dead. It's all shite. It's not going to get better. It's going to get worse. It's gotten worse. They were murdered. It's not anything else.

I just want it to not hurt anymore. I want to go back to last week. I want to have more time. I want everything.

I miss them. It isn't fair. It just isn't fair. They didn't even loo

I feel sick.

I suppose I should say thanks or something (thanks), but right now I just want everyone to fuck off. I'm too tired to care anymore. So have at. I'm going back to bed.

[WARDED TO RUFUS SCRIMGEOUR]

I want to see their bodies them. Am I allowed that?

[WARDED TO THE ORDER]

I hate to be the person always coming up with problems but I figure it'd be better to be the lunatic in the group than something else.

Long story short: I think I'm being followed. It could be paranoia because of everything or certain people running their mouth's in public or maybe my mind is just running off on things. But yeah. I think someone's after me and in more than just the crazed fan sort of way.

I just felt that I should put that out there. No idea if it should be investigated, but there have been some seriously suspect folks lingering about. Thoughts?

[WARDED TO FABIAN]

We've been sent baby things. And a bunch of other stuff, but I am still stuck on the baby things. What the hell are we supposed to do with that?

I am just sort of staring at the basket wondering if it is going to turn into a duck or something funny to show that it is a joke. It has to be. Right?

Oh and I have few more questions, but they can probably wait a bit. Probably anyways.

[WARDED TO ROBBIE]

We should talk.

Are you still mad at me?

[WARDED TO GIDEON]

Please please please talk to me. I don't want

All right. So there's this thing going around where people are worrying more about whether or not people are having sex and babies with the right person or any person and that sort of thing. Because having a war on means that it is the perfect time to settle down or something. I get it, we're worried for our future and matchmaking is probably more fun than playing with matches (though I doubt it because matches are brilliant) or something else.

It might not be my cup of whisky, but I promised my darling friend Ellie that would give it a go given that despite the miles between it the tick of her biological clock makes it hard to sleep.

SO GENTS, OF ALL PERSUASIONS. LET'S GET OURSELVES A SURVEY GOING (because that's how they do it or something?).

1: What's your name?
2: How old are you (all applicants should be between the ages of 17 and 117)?
3: Do you like feisty ladies and can you read?
4: On a scale of one to eleven (eleven being the highest), how much do you like gingers?
5: Are you against any of the following: adventures, pubs, loud Scotspersons at odd hours, novels, unicorns or freedom?
6: Additional comments.

There, satisfied?

[WARDED TO THE ORDER]

So a whole heap of wards failed on my journal. Don't worry I wasn't passing any important details, so there's nothing to fret about.

I am just letting you know that I haven't figured out why they failed (not just my original entry, but a bunch of odd comments as well). Maybe it is related to what happened with Mrs Meliflua's entry. Just thought it might be something we should think about.

Anyone got anything?

[WARDED TO MCKINNONS - WARD FAILED DUE TO V WORD]

So I've been thinking and I've come to the conclusion that those who buy into the nosense that Voldemort is selling might be missing some key parts. Or maybe those who sign up to become Death Eaters just hand their bollocks over to him and call it a day. It would explain an awful lot. What do you think? Death Eaters are completely ball free, yes or no?

I have run out of clean mugs. And an ability to care that people are ridiculous and seem to be looking to cause a fight. I just want to be able to drink and watch the Quidditch playoffs in peace, but apparently asking for that makes me the barmy one.

Well at least I know. Then I can stop being surprised.

[WARDED TO THE ORDER]

We're sticking with our story about not investigating this tell-all, right? Because I think the bit where the Death Eater cried about his feelings proved that this is a load of frogspawn.

And do we want a schedule for advertising? I was think about dropping casual note in the end of today's broadcast, but I am game for anything really.

Now they're just making things up. I'm convinced of it. Though it is Witch Weekly so they've likely been making things up the whole time.